Complexities of Life and Christmas

I've been thinking.... During the last few days I have been confronted with how selfish I am as well as how selfish most people are. Generally, as human being we tend toward seeking comfort, pleasure and self preservation. My atheist friends would say these tendencies evolved over time through natural selection. As a man of faith, I am convinced that such tendencies are simply there because we are simply selfish.

During Christmas, many adults feel ashamed because they cannot give their children what others give to theirs. Some are depressed because they are alone. Yet, others are dealing with real issues. I am aware of a friend of mine, a former co-worker specifically, who is right now dying - this will probably be his last Christmas. I know of a 7 year little boy who may have his leg amputated. I know of a family of 8 who lost their mother this past fall - a single mother... where multiple fathers are involved, just to add to the complexity. And I'm sure we all know someone who is out of work, looking for job.

Life is complicated and Christmas and other such "holy days" can bring out the pain and the complexity in our lives. The part of this that is most sad to me is how so naturally selfish we are, especially many who claim the name of Christ, who act and feel just like the everyone else regarding some deep internal pain we feel to be valued, to feel useful, to feel important. If you are in Christ, as it is written, you are a new creation. If you belong to Christ, as it is written, then you are heirs according to a promise - heirs of an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. Yet, like a little child, we can't delay gratification because often (and in reality), that delay will take a life time and we simply want it now.

Life is complicated and we are selfish. Even though selfishness is antithetical to the dictates of the faith, we seem to not be able to stop the inner battles. Yet, there is hope. Many selfish people (self included) have learned to deny those tendencies enough to raise children, give to charities, or serve at a soup kitchen. If we deny the deep, internal desire to be selfish, we deceive ourselves but at least we don't have to always give in to the pressure to be self serving all the time. I would add that learning to master much of our internal desires - even those that
are legitimate such as the desire for food or sleep - is a sign of maturity. Just as God told Cain regarding his selfish jealousy that was about to take over, "it desires to have you, but you must rule over it".

In fact, ruling over our desires is necessary for a civil and functional society not to mention the local church. So when you put hundreds of individual selfish people together with an untold number of competing selfish desires, all with different levels of maturity and ability to master their desire, infused with the physical and emotional weaknesses and ailments that are common to man, you get great amounts of complexity. At Christmas I pray that I and others can overcome the tendencies to have our internal selfish desires further complicate and already complex situation.

The Gimmies at Christmas

Christmas is a season where children get all excited about the gifts and toys they will receive. I'm glad my culture has a time when people at least think about giving to others, donating money, helping the less fortunate, etc. It's a bonus (and I guess historically, we can thank the Roman Catholic Church for this) the focus of the season is Jesus Christ - the central figure of my faith. Albeit, most people don't really buy into the faith (see my previous post).

My children are not different than I was as a child... they have a case of the gimmies. For the older one, she wants to be more independent and to be able to escape into her own world, thus she wants a Face Book account, a new phone, and an MP3 player with a the video part. My son, who is only 8, just wants toys - primarily one of those really cool Nerf guns that can shoot like a bazillion little Nerf bullets! (Ok, I think I really want that for myself!)

So, for all who find this blog, we can understand the gimmies, but I want to encourage us to try to teach and practice the art of giving. I really like the Berenstain Bears take on the gimmies. Here's a little Youtube video that help us keep generosity, sharing, and giving in mind! Just click the link below or the picture above.

The Berenstain Bears Get The Gimmies

Why Christianity Is HARD!

Aside from the myriad of theological topics that are very important when it comes to Christianity, the most difficult part of the faith is actually living it when things don't go your way. Most people THINK their issue is theological, but in reality, when people leave churches, it is primarily based on relationships that go sour.

The reason Christianity is so hard is because the core of the faith REQUIRES forgiveness but when you are hurt, angry or scared, it is difficult or may even feel impossible to forgive. Living Christianity in relationship with other people requires two things:

1. Radical forgiveness, coupled with
   
2. Appropriate self-protection

These two ideas seem antithetical but they are the bedrock, Biblical basis for the ONLY WAY Christians can actually love each other. We do this with our families, and it should be done in the church as well.

First Radical Forgiveness.
Jesus Christ and his death on the cross is the model of forgiveness and the Bible actually tells the faithful to love other Christians. Why did he die on the cross? This is the "crux" of the matter, the core of the faith. Ultimately, the only way for a human being to go to heaven is to be forgiven of his or her sins. According to the faith, there is only one way to do this - faith, through the blood of Jesus Christ. Now, we are called to forgive and many scriptures talk about it. I love this video because it epitomizes this kind of forgiveness.

You see, love is supposed to be patient, kind, content, modest, humble, selfless, slow to anger, protects others, is always trusting & hoping in others, and ultimately - regarding our topic - LOVE keeps no record of wrongs. But when feel betrayed, lied to, or otherwise mistreated by a member of the church, it is hard to let it go. Ultimately, if you are ANGRY and leaving a church, ask yourself - is this really about you not being able to forgive some sinful, broken, lying, cheating sinner who happens to be a member, or even worse, a leader, in your church? Guess what, radical forgiveness and true humility means that you also realize that you are also a sinful, broken, lying, cheating sinner! Otherwise, you wouldn't need the blood of Christ in order to be righteous. (See Romans 5:6-11) This is deep theology which Christians can not afford to ignore. There are tons of passages on forgiveness,

Second, Appropriate self-protection
I couldn't think of a good way to describe this accept for self-protection. However, this is not accurate. It's not self-protection, but more about healthy boundaries based on the absolute truth - as best as one can figure it out. For example, a physically abusive father or husband should not be tolerated but FORCED to stop his physical attacks. Bruising and beating children and wife, leaving broken skin or broken bones and black eyes is simply NOT to be accepted. It is not radical forgiveness that tolerates such behavior, it is a major lack of healthy boundaries, mixed with fear, shame, confusion, hopelessness, helplessness, and many other feelings. These feelings are then expressed through a lack of empowerment and a lack of action. In Christ, we have the power - that is, the strength, to leave the house, and take the children.

But another example might be that young girl, Rachael Scott, killed in the 1999 Columbine High incident. No one knows if the exchange between her and the killers actually took place where she is purported to have been shot in the leg and then asked if she still believed in God, to which she responded, "yes" and was then shot in the head. This may be legend or folklore but the principle is clearly communicated. Do not compromise your faith or integrity even if it means you will be hurt, abused, or killed. This same principle is echoed in American culture by movies such as the Silver Surfer who eventually was willing to die to stop the planet destroyer from continuing his heartless annihilation of entire worlds. Of course, soldiers on the battle field live and die by this principle more often than the rest of us. First responders also reflect this ideal.

The scriptures show Jesus living this principle by slipping away a number of times when the crowds were coming to seize or kill him because it was not time for his death. See John 7:30, 44, 8:20, and 10:39. Paul escaped death once by being let down through a window (See 2 Corinthians 11:32-33).


Concluding Remarks
The point here is this: We are called to be radical regarding our love for each other, especially forgiveness. All men will know you are my disciples by the love you have for each other. This love requires constant forgiveness. It is difficult to live this way when we are hurt, feel attacked, feel betrayed, or have experienced some other emotional pain which you perceive is caused by another person. However, I implore anyone who claims the name of Christ - stop fighting over things that ultimately will not matter in eternity. The real enemy is not other church members or church leaders... the real enemies are from Hell, not from earth.

Finally, if anyone I know personally feels hurt, discouraged, or attacked by me, feel free to call. Let's work it out, especially if we are member of the same congregation.