Many people are comfortable with absolute and specific answers to life's questions and situations. Wewant to KNOW the answer such as, "exactly what date and time is something due", or "how much will it cost", and "what are the rules for this scholarship or to enter this program". And then there is the big question: what is exactly is the right thing to do? It's this type of question that causes the biggest problems.
What is exactly the right thing to do? In other words, what is the morally correct position to hold and/or act on? In our society (I am an American even though I spelled "grey" like they do in Great Britain), we wrestle with this type of question with many different topics. End of life and other medical issues, religious values and beliefs, and definitely gender and sexuality related issues as with the current focus on bathrooms!
I have not spoken with any of my gay, gay-affirming or transgender friends on the topic. In writing this, I am encouraging myself to do so next week. However, the talking heads and the general press is not silent on the issue. I have read through HB2, "Public Facilities Privacy & Security Act." from North Carolina, sponsored by state representatives Stam, Bishop, Howard, and Steinburg. My only disagreement is their definition of "biological sex". They tie this too closely to what is written on the persons birth certificate. However, a person may have had sex reassignment surgery or was born with a birth defect such that the genitalia was ambiguous or malformed and the doctor got it wrong. This is rare (genital abnormalities occur in about 1 in 4,500 births and ambiguous genitalia caused by congenital adrenal hyperplasia is only 1 in 18,000) but should have been taken into account by HB2. They seem to take other things into account. Also, the focus seems to be K - 12 education, although it impacts all public facilities.
The real issue for those that opposed the law is simple - can a male student use the female restroom at a K - 12 school whenever they feel like it? Those that support gender based bathrooms would probably agree with those that oppose and say NO. The difference is how you define words like "male", "female" and gender identity, regardless of the person having a penis or vagina. Thus, the binary nature of human sexual biology and our related drives, passions, hopes and dreams are blurred (aside from the birth defects I referenced above) and a person can be fluid. That is, one day identify as female and dress in traditional woman's clothing and the next day identify as male dress in traditional men's clothing. I'm sure this oversimplifies a very complex and individual issue, but as one transgender male (i.e they still have a vagina but have had hormone treatments and thus look like a man and dress in traditional male clothing) has said, "I wear men's clothing, though I do have a closet full of five-inch high heels that I absolutely love and will never get rid of.". This person seems to want/need the freedom to be fluid and identify with both male and female. I guess they see themselves as what some native tribes call "two-spirited".
The fact is, this is a grey issue - it is NOT as black and white as we would hope or presume. How do lawmakers discern such complex issues? Are they experienced enough, wise enough, and engaged enough to approach such problems with appropriate care for real people without compromising their own convictions? I would be classified by many as socially conservative, which spring from my faith as a Christian. I strongly believe based on theological principles (which in themselves are not overtly complex but do require some knowledge) that we generally do not have the freedom to act/dress/function based on certain internal sexual inclinations, desires, emotions or feelings. Yet, life (and theology) is not always black and white - there is a lot of grey and one must be careful before building hard and fast boundaries. From a Christian perspective, we want to avoid becoming legalistic and as the old adage goes, "In essential unity, in non-essentials liberty, and in all things love".
The legitimate fear that most non-LBGT/non-transgender people have is again, the idea of a man with a penis using a woman's bathroom, especially in a K-12 environment, and doing something evil. It could be a mild as voyeurism (when I was a kid, a guy climbed up in the stall next to me and watched me take a bowl-movement. I didn't notice until I was done! It was very uncomfortable) or as harsh as forced sexual activity. Of course, such things can take place now (as I mentioned in my previous parenthetical phrase). However, things get complicated when we promote gender as something as fluid and celebrate the freedom of people being whatever gender their very intense and very real feelings, emotions, and passions tell them they are.
Where is the moderate position? Where is the healthy position that takes into account both the complexities, difficulties and struggles of the transgender person and the real concerns and discomforts of others? I don't know. The most complex situation is in public shower rooms as in a gym or swimming pool, and thus a high-school locker room. Such situations are indeed difficult to discern even now. If a transgender man walks into a woman's room simply because they still have a vagina but they REALLY DO LOOK, DRESS, ACT, AND SOUND like a man, what will the women in that restroom think and feel?
As I said, I don't know the answers. If I had a business where people worked and they obviously would have to use the bathroom, I would probably have one or three bathrooms. Would this address the issue? I don't know? Would this cost me more? If I had three bathrooms it would, but because I'm not smart enough to discern this "grey" issue with perfect wisdom, then this is probably the best I can do.
