Now, to me, the cost was pretty high (over $50 with tip) but trust me men (if you are a man reading this - especially if you are a white man...), for black hair, this is dirt cheap! So, I left her in the hair salon for an hour as instructed, and I went to the Starbucks in Target, bought a NORMAL cup of coffee (because I still don't know how to order the stuff), and read my book... waiting... waiting... and waiting. I finally got the alarm (literally - I set the timer on my smart phone so I would know when to go and check on her) and went to the salon only to find that I needed to wait another 20 minutes... which turned into 45 minutes.
But I survived this! Really! However, my daughter had also wanted me to go with her to buy a pair of shoes. She was irritated with me because my wife apparently had said she could buy shoes, too as long as they were under $50.... I reacted poorly - you see, I didn't want the trip to start racking up to well over $100.00 PLUS I only own two pair of shoes - one with a hole in the sole and the other being held together with super-glue... trust me, I am not exaggerating! So... I reacted poorly by not taking the request seriously. Fortunately, the mall was closing because I had already waited... and waited... and waited. However, we did get the opportunity to ask the price of the shoes she wanted before the retail outlet shut the gate. The shoes were $170... and so, I reacted poorly again - being somewhat humorous, loudly, hoping to gain the sympathy of another reasonable parent that just so happened to be in ear-shot of this drama.
However, what my poorly timed and terrible attempt to gain sympathy actually did was alienate my daughter who was frustrated because I embarrassed her in public. I made matters worse by asking if she would forgive me and not accepting her answer of "I don't know" -- which was spoken, not with words but with body language.... so, the car ride home was silent, except for the radio. I turned to 104.1 FM because I needed to hear someone say they loved me and I was OK and not a failure. Now, if you listen to 104.1FM in the DC area, you know it is predominately black gospel music which often has messages about how much God loves you and how much you will be blessed if you trust God.... a message I needed at that time. Why - because I was deeply hurt. My own child didn't know if she could forgive me!
Anyway, she was over it by the time we got home... just like when she was 2 years old and I could easily distract her from whatever made her cry. But what does any of this have to do with taking love seriously? The big lesson is this: We should love our children and our family, not because they give us warm feelings of acceptance and trust and gratitude and respect. No, instead we love our families because we are supposed to! Many in our society cringe at the thought that they are supposed to do anything. However, it is clearly written in God's word as more than a suggestion that "husbands [should] love their wives as Christ loved the church..." and "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger...". And let's not forget that "If anyone does not take care of his own relatives, especially his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever."Love, then requires that I focus, not on getting the respect, honor, submission, praise, gratitude, etc from my children or my wife for that matter... NO... Love requires that I focus on building them up, encouraging them, helping them grow and be better people, godly people, selfless people. Timing, then is everything but the real challenge, at least for me, is not letting my little feeling get in the way of loving and giving to those that are closest to me.
